This blog is here to honour the life of Olivia Jane Penpraze, who took her life in April, 2012, due to a desperate and difficult fight with mental illnesses. This is a place to ask for advice, to vent, a place to come when you need someone else to be strong. A place to come when you need kind words, A place to come to when you need someone to stand up, and show you how to keep holding on, to show you how to get the help that is needed. <3

To chat with specific admins go to the "Who We Are" page for their skype/personal blogs/etc !

To find a suicide helpline in your country, visit http://www.befrienders.org/


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"Breathe. It’s only a bad day not a bad life."
Ashley Purdy  (via void-function)

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decodethefallenmoon:

If you’re interested in BDSM, the best book I can suggest- that’s also well-written and interesting and extremely accurate- is The Boss by Abigail Barnette. It’s everything 50 Shades of Grey is not. Literally. The actual rules of BDSM in the story and implemented: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. 

Like holy tits I couldn’t ever think of a better book for people to get insight on the community and it’s aspects and exploring kinks. 

For anyone that’s interested. I know there might be a few of you 18+ people out there that are exploring your sexualities and parts of BDSM. The best thing you can do is educate yourself, and if you like to read stories, this is a good one. I’ve been reading it myself the past while and it’s fab. But keep in mind, this is ADULT content. Don’t scar yourselves or potentially harm your health, it may have potentially triggering content for some people. (Not like 50 Shades, but in terms of kinks and the consensual acts that are played out.)

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

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please help and reblog this!

illusoryacid:

Hey everyone!

I thought I should make a neater, more condensed post asking for help.

As some of you are aware, yet many are probably not, I have been asking for donations for a while to help me get through school while I deal with chronic illness.

Well, as it turns out, I happen to have Stage 3 Lyme Disease, otherwise known as “chronic” Lyme.

Now, I’m still struggling with trying to pay for my cost of living and my education, but unfortunately, the naturopathic treatment that I need for this disease isn’t covered in Canada.

And since I don’t have a job, I also don’t have any options for extended medical benefits. Moreover, the doctors I need to see are located 20+ hours away from me, and I’ll need money for travel, food and a room to stay in.

So, please, if you aren’t able to donate I compleeeeteely understand. But, there may be others out there that are able to, so reblogging this is a huge help.

Thank you for taking the time out to read this! 

Donations can be made to my paypal. There’s a donation button on my blog page at www.illusoryacid.com

The e-mail for my paypal is tpnw@hotmail.ca

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sexual health advice

illusoryacid:

~friendly reminder that I also have a sexual health advice blog at http://talkaboutsexual.tumblr.com/ for anyone that has questions. anon is always on!~

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Posted: July 7th
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sexual health advice

illusoryacid:

~friendly reminder that I also have a sexual health advice blog at http://talkaboutsexual.tumblr.com/ for anyone that has questions. anon is always on!~

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Anonymous: I know that here is not medicine's blog, but maybe I can feel will to unburden, I'm wanna do surgery because of my psychological feelings. Is awkward but I'm gonna explain. 1/2 year ago, I lost almost 30kg without bariatric surgery. Just doing diets and physical exercices. When I put my clothes, I feel skinny, and a normal guy, but when I take out my t-shirt, I see my fucking belly with these skin falling, like a jelly, and it make me remember that I already was fat. (continue)

(second part) Well, sometimes I feel fat, whenever I eat more than I can. Peoples think that I’m crazy, and I’m not fat but sometimes I feel. I feel ashamed to take out my shirt when I’m at a beach. When peoples see me without the shirt, the sensation is like if they are seeing my genitalia & my ass (sorry for the expression, but is that). Well, I feel so bad with my belly, and I think about do abdominoplasty. My mom think that my belly is okay and I need to accept myself how I am, (continue)

(third & last part) but my sister and the whole family think that I should do. My friend who study on my class (she already did too) and my nutritionist think that I should do, if my belly make me feel bad. But I fear the scars. If the scars make my belly be worse than is actual? What you think?? I should to submit to a surgery, or let it, trying to accept? I see guys with their defined bellies, and I wish to have a belly like them, a normal belly. Btw, I didn’t asked to have this anomaly…

I’m the guy who want to do the surgery “abdominoplasty”, and I forgot a detail that maybe can help you understand my feelings… in childhood and teenage, my nicknames at school was elephant, hippo, killer whale, whale out of the sea, surrogacy, pregnant, and other nicknames like gay, ugly, monster, shrek, but this is other story. Some of these nicknames still follow me on my mind, and I never had girlfriend because of my body. Is so bad, when peoples judge you by your body, no by who you are.

Personally, I think you should do both. Get the surgery if you want it, and learn to accept yourself.

Here’s the thing, when you have a certain amount of excess skin, it can at times cause issues. Rash and irritation, acne, chaffing. These things can all typically be remedied with proper washing, but it can definitely be a burden on many peoples lives. Especially given if you have enough excess, it can make finding comfortable clothing very difficult. This type of surgery after weight loss is very common and sometimes even covered under medical insurance. It’s good that you’re talking about this with your nutritionist as well, and they can give you a good medical opinion on it.

But, you need to realize that even if you get the surgery— which you have every right to do, it’s your body— it’s still not going to erase the harassment you went through. It’s not going to fix you emotionally.

It just isn’t. Trust me.

I previously lost 19.5 kg (about 43 lbs) and I only ended up with WAY more problems than I had before, emotionally. I felt bigger than I ever was, I felt more self conscious about my body because I spent so much time trying to change it that I was used to the poking and pulling at it, the horrible and false idea that if I could take up less space that I would be more acceptable. Not just to others, but to myself.

You can lose the weight, but that’s not going to fix you mentally. You need counseling for that, you need self exploration and wellness exercises, you need to experience a world where you realize that this fat shaming body phobic culture we live in is a load of shit. You need to be able to look in the mirror and accept and love yourself and your body at ALL times. Because you may have lost all this weight, you could get the surgery, but you are still going to age. You may end up losing muscle mass and gaining weight again in time, you’re going to wrinkle, sag, grey over. Beauty is a temporary thing, both in the parameters of age but also that of social standards. What’s “hot” one week could be completely different the next. You need to love yourself always, and know that no one should have to care about you for you to justify caring about yourself.

Period. End of story.

So, if you want to do the surgery— do it. I am supporting you 100%. But know that it isn’t going to fix the problems you have emotionally. That’s a whole different journey, my friend. And it’s one worth taking.

-Tristen

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Anonymous: What does foamy be with you mean?

Foamy is a computer animated cartoon character made by iLL WiLL PrEss. He’s basically a squirrel god. He speaks the truth. I enjoy him.

This is the best video to explain Foamy.

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

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Anonymous: I relapsed last night. Normally I don't mean to hurt myself, I catch myself. But last night I did it on purpose. I wanted to hurt myself.

Sometimes, it just happens. It sucks butt, and yet it just… happens. Take some time to relax and soak in a bath, feel better, make tea/coffee, read. Do something happy and serene. Remind yourself that it’s okay and it’s not the end of all the progress you made. It’s okay. You’ll be fine. Just breathe.

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

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queensamwise:

friendly reminder to please remember some self-care today!!! go drink a big glass of water!!!! watch something that will make you laugh!!! go to bed an extra hour early if you can!!! hug something soft. pet a dog. i love you

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Anonymous: I really need someone to talk to. I'm struggling so much and I'm really scared.

Vent away love! I know this is some time later than when you sent this but I’m here now!

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

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Anonymous: i'm nervous pretty much all the time and i'm starting high school which gives me so much anxiety. and i'm really nervous about presentations, and i feel like my anxiety is keeping me from growing as a person and i feel like all my friends are going to branch out and i'm going to be stuck in a rut and they're going to leave me. i just really don't want to start high school. and i just really don't want to live with anxiety anymore, it's ruining me.

Hi love! I had this same problem when I was in school, actually. I don’t know if I’ve actually gotten over it because I’m just starting college 2 years after graduating high school. I can tell you this much: Get plenty of sleep. It will drastically help when it comes to your ability to focus and get things done. 

When it comes to presentations or getting homework done and overstressing- take 5 minute breaks every 20 ish minutes when you’re doing homework. Get up, walk around, make a cup of tea, get a healthy snack to eat. Put your phone on silent. This goes for in class, too. I can absolutely tell you, the people that did the worst were the ones that were glued to their phones talking to their friends and letting themselves be distracted. Cut time out of your day just for homework. Ask your friends to study with you. When you have presentations, notify your teachers of your anxiety and see if they have any good suggestions for overcoming it. You’ll still have to do the presentation, obviously, which sucks, but they may be able to help you come up with solutions to make it easier. Practice your presentations on your friends/family. Practice in front of the mirror. Practice. The more you practice in front of other people, no matter how shitty you feel, the more you push through it, the more you rationalize and count your breathing out in your head, the more you’ll relax and get comfortable. It’s going to be difficult. You might get shaky knees standing in front of people. Just keep your breathing deep and regulated. You have to fake it till you make it, basically. It’s not the simplest thing to actually put into practice, but it’s going to take you forcing yourself through it until it doesn’t freak you out anymore. You might cry out of frustration. That’s okay. I did, too. But I also made it 10 times harder on myself because I never practiced. 

Are you seeing a psych about your anxiety at all? I’d suggest it. You don’t have to go on medication but they can teach you a lot of rationalization tactics and exercises to overcome and deal with anxiety. I have a few tricks of my own if you want to message me on my personal blog for more information! I’d be happy to help. Decodethefallenmoon. :)

I don’t think your friends are going to just leave you behind. You never know how understanding and helpful some of them can be until you ask. Don’t be afraid to ask people for help! You may make some new friends as well that could be going through the exact same problem. Who knows? Don’t count yourself out before you start learning to roll with the motions of life.

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

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Anonymous: What are the signs of emotional abuse?

mental-health-advice:

Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.

Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.

Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.

Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.

Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.

Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,

Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.

Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.

Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.

Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.

Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.

Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.

Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.

Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.

Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.

Love, Salem

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illusoryacid:

Hey everyone! I’m actually online right now for a little while, gonna type up an update for my secondary blog about how that whole lyme disease business is going.

If anyone wants to ask me questions or is looking for advice, feel free to message me. :) 

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our-angel-olivia:

If anyone needs anything, I’m online! Feel free to send in a message or anything!

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

I’m online again if anyone needs anything!!

Foamy be with you,
Sarah<3

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