Anonymous: I know that here is not medicine's blog, but maybe I can feel will to unburden, I'm wanna do surgery because of my psychological feelings. Is awkward but I'm gonna explain. 1/2 year ago, I lost almost 30kg without bariatric surgery. Just doing diets and physical exercices. When I put my clothes, I feel skinny, and a normal guy, but when I take out my t-shirt, I see my fucking belly with these skin falling, like a jelly, and it make me remember that I already was fat. (continue)
(second part) Well, sometimes I feel fat, whenever I eat more than I can. Peoples think that I’m crazy, and I’m not fat but sometimes I feel. I feel ashamed to take out my shirt when I’m at a beach. When peoples see me without the shirt, the sensation is like if they are seeing my genitalia & my ass (sorry for the expression, but is that). Well, I feel so bad with my belly, and I think about do abdominoplasty. My mom think that my belly is okay and I need to accept myself how I am, (continue)
(third & last part) but my sister and the whole family think that I should do. My friend who study on my class (she already did too) and my nutritionist think that I should do, if my belly make me feel bad. But I fear the scars. If the scars make my belly be worse than is actual? What you think?? I should to submit to a surgery, or let it, trying to accept? I see guys with their defined bellies, and I wish to have a belly like them, a normal belly. Btw, I didn’t asked to have this anomaly…
I’m the guy who want to do the surgery “abdominoplasty”, and I forgot a detail that maybe can help you understand my feelings… in childhood and teenage, my nicknames at school was elephant, hippo, killer whale, whale out of the sea, surrogacy, pregnant, and other nicknames like gay, ugly, monster, shrek, but this is other story. Some of these nicknames still follow me on my mind, and I never had girlfriend because of my body. Is so bad, when peoples judge you by your body, no by who you are.
Personally, I think you should do both. Get the surgery if you want it, and learn to accept yourself.
Here’s the thing, when you have a certain amount of excess skin, it can at times cause issues. Rash and irritation, acne, chaffing. These things can all typically be remedied with proper washing, but it can definitely be a burden on many peoples lives. Especially given if you have enough excess, it can make finding comfortable clothing very difficult. This type of surgery after weight loss is very common and sometimes even covered under medical insurance. It’s good that you’re talking about this with your nutritionist as well, and they can give you a good medical opinion on it.
But, you need to realize that even if you get the surgery— which you have every right to do, it’s your body— it’s still not going to erase the harassment you went through. It’s not going to fix you emotionally.
It just isn’t. Trust me.
I previously lost 19.5 kg (about 43 lbs) and I only ended up with WAY more problems than I had before, emotionally. I felt bigger than I ever was, I felt more self conscious about my body because I spent so much time trying to change it that I was used to the poking and pulling at it, the horrible and false idea that if I could take up less space that I would be more acceptable. Not just to others, but to myself.
You can lose the weight, but that’s not going to fix you mentally. You need counseling for that, you need self exploration and wellness exercises, you need to experience a world where you realize that this fat shaming body phobic culture we live in is a load of shit. You need to be able to look in the mirror and accept and love yourself and your body at ALL times. Because you may have lost all this weight, you could get the surgery, but you are still going to age. You may end up losing muscle mass and gaining weight again in time, you’re going to wrinkle, sag, grey over. Beauty is a temporary thing, both in the parameters of age but also that of social standards. What’s “hot” one week could be completely different the next. You need to love yourself always, and know that no one should have to care about you for you to justify caring about yourself.
Period. End of story.
So, if you want to do the surgery— do it. I am supporting you 100%. But know that it isn’t going to fix the problems you have emotionally. That’s a whole different journey, my friend. And it’s one worth taking.