This blog is here to honour the life of Olivia Jane Penpraze, who took her life in April, 2012, due to a desperate and difficult fight with mental illnesses. This is a place to ask for advice, to vent, a place to come when you need someone else to be strong. A place to come when you need kind words, A place to come to when you need someone to stand up, and show you how to keep holding on, to show you how to get the help that is needed. <3

To chat with specific admins go to the "Who We Are" page for their skype/personal blogs/etc !

To find a suicide helpline in your country, visit


Anonymous: Could you guys check up on Emma for me please. I'm very concerned about her.

We’re in pretty consistent contact with her! We were just talking with her not long ago. She’s safe and more or less okay. We’re helping her while she sorts out her stuff. :)


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Anonymous: hi I was just wondering who runs this account? like what is your relationship to Olivia?

There’s something like twenty admins on here, you can see all of our write ups in the who we are page. Emma and Charollete started the blog. Emma knew Liv and let her family know about wanting to create the blog before they did.


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Posted: April 4th
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Ok. So let me explain a thing or two to you. 
Two kids so far at my school have been suspended. (So far) The reason the school is saying is because they said ‘threatening things’ on Facebook. The post they’re referring to, although not written the best, had no threats. It was a post about refusing to conform or be molded into followers. The wrote they said was threatening was “if you continue to suppress us, we’ll be your personal hell.” Meaning we will be a pain in your ass. 
This was a political statement, plain and simple. Now, you might be thinking ‘why such a big deal over suspensions?’ Well, they were suspended FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. Meaning they can’t take their state tests, which means they’re going to have to repeat this school year. Their suspension is forcing them to be held back. One kid was only suspended for commenting on the post. 
My school has started making a lot of stupid decisions lately, like firing four sports coaches, which many students skipped school today to protest. But I think this by far is the most stupid. Not only is it wrong, it’s UNCONSTITUTIONAL*. It’s my first amendment right to have free speech, freedom of religion, freedom of press, ect. 
The school is allowed to monitor our activity on the tablets they gave us, to make sure that we aren’t going on like, porn or something. But they aren’t allowed to censor us because we are criticizing them. 
I called a news channel after school today. I told them what happened, got the kid who was originally posted in contact with them ect. My dad is going to be interviewed about the constitution and rights in general. I might get interviewed, along with my friend. The school could very well try to retaliate against me when they find out I called the news about this. 
I keep getting told that I should be careful because they could suspend me. My response is I’d like to see them try. I have done nothing wrong. 
I want to say that if you something wrong going on, stand up, even if it means you stand alone. Eventually, people will stand with you. Sometimes it just takes one courageous person to say something, and others will follow. Be a leader. 
*I am from America, if it wasn’t clear before. Sorry if any one is confused by constitution references*

So, although this is not the usual thing I&#8217;d post on here, I wanted to share this with you guys. I hope all of you in your lives find and have the courage to stand up for what&#8217;s right. Someone somewhere will listen. This is our future, and we can do something to change it. Love you guys, stay strong. Xoxoxo Meghan
Posted: April 4th
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"Pause. Stop Everything. Take a Second. A Minute. An hour. Close your Eyes. And Breathe. You are alive. You are strong. You are everything you’re meant to be. You are loved."
Me, Pause Everything (via read-tea-breathe)

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Anonymous: aw, fab! so this probably is not the usual questions you get but, how do i get over someone i've loved for so long? I want to wake up one morning and finally be able to say that i no longer miss him or love him. I need to move on, because the smallest thing he says can determine the outcome of my whole day. We had an amazing relationship, but it's been over for almost 6 months, and I want to be able to look at him and not feel pain. What should i do? xxx

This ones a toughy because it depends so much on who you are and how you nearly cope with things.

Me I do the crying and the eating for a good 2 weeks, then I get really mad and I exercise and rant and rave something chronic for another few weeks.

After that initial phase though I go kinda calm, I think alot about who we were when we got together and the kind of people we were when it ended. Am I happy with who I am now? Or did I become the product of a relationship not meant for me?

When I say that I’m not saying think about the negatives, I’m saying reflect on the good and the bad. Has being with him given you more confidence and allowed you to broaden your friendship group? Or has he hindered your ability to do things and just be happy with out? That last one I am directing at you “the smallest thing he says can determine the outcome of my whole day” comment.

No one should be able to change your day so drastically, its not good that someone can dictate your day like that in a way that doesn’t sound very loving or kind.

Reflect. On the good and the bad. Identify things your happier with and focus on them.

Or do the wrong thing and put eggs in his car heater, my friend did and that seemed to work. Just don’t get caught :P 

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Anonymous: Anyone online?

I AM!!!!

- Charlotte

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why i really need your help, even if you just reblog this (UPDATE: List of symptoms added into the read more)




hey guys, so, typically it takes a lot for me to actually ask people for help, let alone donations.

I was hoping I could avoid having to actually ask as much as possible, but at this point, I really need some help.

I’m trying to put myself through post secondary and the workload is heavy and difficult, and on top of that I’ve been working.

Now, you may be like “oh but heaps of people have to work and go to school” but heaps of people also don’t deal with medical implications such as generalized anxiety disorder to the severity of dissociation (which potentially may be seizures, I’m still going through tests), hallucinations, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, borderline personality, ocd traits, cholinergic urticaria, and so on.

I’m also currently in the midst of being tested and checked out for lupus, I’m almost constantly in pain, I have frequent bouts of nausea, vomiting, fevers, dizziness, confusion, memory loss, excessive fatigue and exhaustion, etc. and unfortunately it’s all only getting worse, to the point lately where my breathing has become more labored and I have a difficult time supporting my own weight if I walk too much. And, unfortunately, my current job can’t really provide me with any options in which I can still comfortably work, and trying to do an eight hour shift just wrecks me and takes away a huge chunk of time from my studies.

It’s incredibly important that I maintain a GPA above 3.5 so I can have a better shot at applying for scholarship and bursary money.But, with going from class to work to class and taking time out on the weekends to work and stressing over work, I’m worried that my grades are starting to take a toll from that. Moreover, I really need the time to focus on my health, especially in case I do have lupus, I need to focus on possibly going into remission and being more high functioning physically.

If all of my followers alone even donated 50 cents, that would be more than enough for me to take a leave from my job and pay my bills and focus on health and school!

If you can’t donate, I completely understand, but please at least reblog this in case someone can! And remember that I’m always around to give advice on anything you have going on. :)

thank you for taking the time to read this!!

someone mentioned that I should add onto here that the email i use for my paypal is :)

If you want to know more of my symptoms specifically, you can find them listed in the read more.

Read More

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Anonymous: this is for Sarah: Why do you sign off with "Foamy be with you" ??

It’s for this cartoon of a squirrel that basically rages to the world about important topics called Foamy the Squirrel. It’s on youtube. 

Foamy be with you,

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cryyrccry: Can someone please help me I need to sleep I can't do this I can't stop shaking I can't do this I can't I can't

Its ok. Right now lets just focus on slowing down your breathing and that generally slows your heart rate and minimizes the amount of shaking youre experiencing.

So heres a few things you can try:

1 - Lay on your bed turn everything off and just pick a spot on your ceiling to focus on. Breath in slowly while counting to 4, hold your breathe for 4 seconds, breathe out slowly for 4 counts and the start again. Try to breathe this way for 2 minutes or until you think you’ve calmed down slightly.

2 - find a wall and sqaut against it, like the picture underneath.

try to hold it for 30 seconds stand up walk around for 30 seconds then do it again. If you can’t hold it for that long (lord knows I cant) just hold it for as long as you can. Besides being good for shapping your thighs and butt, it doesn’t give the body an option in regards to you shaking and breathing. You’re body will naturally focus on pumping more blood to your legs and stop your other skeletal muscles from shaking to preserve energy. Your breathing will naturally slow as well because your ab muscles are engaged so breathe fast and shallow isn’t an option.

3 - run or do some form of exercise (I find sit up work well for me) again because your body will change your breathing rate to accommodate for the increase in heart rate.

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Anonymous: How many followers do you have

I keep deleting these but yo guess what person that keeps asking this
1. It does not matter
2. I all ready answered this once before if youre really concerned just go back through posts
3. Does NOT matter and it clutters the inbox when the point of messaging here is for things like advice
4. Follower numbers are not a discrete variable. Its possible end up with 100 followers one hour and 289274639478493 the next.
5. Does not matter please stop i cant even count the number of times weve asked people not to clutter the inbox like this. If you have questions unrelated to advice dont send them here on this blog.

Im going to go back to continuing to delete messages like this now but i thought it should be reiterated


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Anonymous: Belgin † 24.02.09

Off anon please!

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Posted: April 4th
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Posted: April 4th
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Hey everyone!

Tomorrow is my moms birthday.
My mom is one of the biggest reasons why I’m here today— far past the whole her giving birth to me part. Through mental and physical illness, bouts of being practically bedridden as well as deep delusional and depressive episodes, she’s yet to disown me haha. To this day she’s my main friend, the person I always text first when I want to go downtown with someone, and I’ve comfortably been able to tell her more and more as I’ve grown. I remember when I first explained to her that I’m gender fluid, a conversation I thought would’ve been uncomfortable and difficult, she was basically just like “word i feel you go do the thing”. She’s added so much to my life, and she’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever known.
So I wanna ask a favour of everyone!
If I’ve ever helped you, directly or indirectly, know that I’ve been here to do that because of my moms support through life. A lot of my knowledge comes from her, and if you’ve ever found me helpful in any manner it’s her that deserves a lot of thanks for that
Please, if you have the time, send me a message wishing her a happy birthday! It can be detailed and full of thanks, or short and simple. My mom preserved my life and in turn I helped to preserve many others and I want her to feel a full thanks for that. Because when life gets hard, I’m glad I’ve always had my mom there to help me.
Thank you for reading this and I really hope I get to read your kind birthday wishes for her!! :)

It would mean so much if any of you who know me, or I&#8217;ve helped in any way, can thank her for her contribution in that! Because she&#8217;s really the one that deserves a lot of that thanks for helping to keep me around. Even if not though, just a casual happy birthday tristens mom would also be supper appreciated!! :)-Tristen

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