an angel's resting place

Good question, I like this question.

Self have can become an addiction like anything can be an addiction. There’s honestly no such thing as a non-addictive substance or action, everything can be habit forming, and from there it can become an addiction.

Self harm does present some physical addictive attributes. Although most withdrawal symptoms and pains are largely psychosomatic, and the addiction itself is largely psychological— the difference is in the chemicals. When you inflict harm upon yourself chemicals spike in your brain such as adrenaline and you produce a fair amount of endorphines, much like you do when you exercise. (Exercising is an amazing alternative to self harm because it largely produces the same chemicals self harm does, only its healthier and longer lasting.) People become addicted to the chemical rush that’s happening in their brain, along with just the simple habit. There was a long period in my life where it just became scheduled; every night before bed I self harmed. It didn’t matter if I was upset or not, it was just a completely casual thing. Because it had become a part of my bed time routine, without it I grew antsy and couldn’t sleep. As you add habit-forming addictions into your life, by stopping suddenly you leave a hole. I had to add new habits into my bed time routine to get out of the self harming habit. Leaving that area of your life as an empty hole becomes incredibly emotionally difficult and can lead to serious relapse. It’s all just in training your brain to start recognizing a different activity as the same habit.

Knowing if you become addicted to something seems like it would be very straight forward, but it’s often not that simple. Many people will be in denial about addictions. Habits are about control, it’s a part of your life that when everything else is hectic, you feel like you’re completely in control of that one thing such as self harm. When someone tries to deny you that, it arouses some pretty huge conflict.  The best signs are kind of like within what I had experienced.

Try and recognize certain things:

• Do you do it at the same time every day?
• Are you doing it without given “reason” to?
• Can you continue your day/night normally without it?
• Do you feel anxious if you miss the time you would usually self harm?
• Do you deny others emotions or opinions on your self harm?
• Is it effecting your level of functioning?

Answering yes to one or more of these questions may indicate that you’re addicted.

Beating an addiction, albeit difficult, is certainly not impossible! Check out some alternatives and talk to a counselor about it. Just make sure that you do NOT quit cold turkey. Always fill that empty space of where that addiction was with a NEW habit. Aim for something healthier like drawing or painting or anything.

Stay frosty, soldier
-Tristen

Go to the hospital. It’s better than having a lung collapse or something. Seriously. They won’t even notice your cuts dude they probably won’t even see them. I highly doubt you’d ever be exposed enough in front of someone. I basically live in the hospital sometimes and no ones ever seen areas of my body unless I allowed it or needed them to.
Just goooo. It’ll be fine once the ball gets rolling in there.

-Tristen

Probably because you think no one cares. Sounds funny, but that’s how I’ve always been taught here. My doctors, all eleven of them, my 5 I’ve been through— they don’t care. But for incredibly good reason, because by simply not caring its not a big deal anymore. It stops being this huge, scary, impossible thing that you can’t even fathom conquering. By treating it with normality it in turn allowed me to comfortably be able to walk into a doctors office or hospital and be like “hey yeah I messed up my leg can you fix this” and receive proper medical attention. It allowed me people in professional positions to just chat with me about it. Quite literally JUST chatting, completely casual conversation. Which gave me the chance to vent, to realize why I was doing it at times and why I wasn’t at times. It stopped being a big deal, I stopped thinking of it as one, and in turn it slowed right down just all on its own. I’ve never bothered counting days, I’ve never even declaratively quit because it’s honestly been made into just such a not big deal that.. You know.. It’s just not a big deal. No one really cares enough for me to announce quitting completely and making a big deal about it. Because its not. And that’s good, I like that, for me that’s exactly how it should be. Eventually just through being so “whatever” about it, it became a hassle. It was going out of my way. A burden. Boring.

Honestly, my opinion is that by just relaxing about it and stop allowing it the glorification of being a big deal, you’ll just slowly stop on your own. Likely without evening noticing it.

You know. Additionally there’s the whole dealing with the scars after, and possible blood poisoning, infection, etc. and so on. That all really sucks too. If you want to stop for you and your health, then by all means.

Someone else shouldn’t have to care about you for you to justify caring about yourself.

-Tristen

Hi love,

That’s amazing that you’ve made it two weeks. You should be truly proud of yourself! Please keep going. Aim for one day at a time and before you know it’ll have been three weeks, 4 weeks, and so on. You can beat this. I know the urges can be hard but keep trying!

Please keep trying the alternatives. Even if you have to do every single one on the list until the feelings pass. Just that distraction of knowing you have to try them all and do them all can be enough until the feelings pass by.

If your ever in trouble please talk to us and we will help distract you. Or call one of the helplines available.

Keep on fighting sweet!

Tegan xxxx

love, you may not be able to see it, but you do have a future. please, don’t do anything to yourself. talk to someone about the cutting. you are not pathetic, you are sick and you need help. try to get help for your anxiety and panic. stay strong.l xoxo meghan

honey, you need to seek help. whether or not people find you ridiculous, someone will believe you and try to help you. i don’t like people either, to be honest, but sometimes you just have to deal with them. find people you don’t mind being around, people that are nice to you, people that care about you. you’re not well and you need help. please, look for some help. stay strong love. xoxo meghan

Go and speak with a counselor about alternatives and other coping methods you can use. You can also think about taking up addictions counseling specifically, that may help you a great deal.

http://our-angel-olivia.tumblr.com/dontgiveup
http://our-angel-olivia.tumblr.com/alternatives

Addiction is something that needs to be replaced, not removed. You have to fill the hole with new habits, but you can make them healthy ones. Make birdhouses, plant trees, work out, do yoga. There’s tons of things that you can do, but you do have to do something. One does not simply quit cold turkey without any replacement to fill the space they were holding their addictions in.

Stay frosty, soldier
-Tristen 

There’s not a lot that is stupid or wrong, really. Well, stupid, maybe. Wrong is a very subjective notion however, with such a wide spectrum of variance that it’s nearly improbable in such small actions.

I don’t think self harm makes you pathetic. It’s simply survival in most cases. Most people cut because they don’t want their emotions getting worse, so I’d say you’re completely normal within the self harm spectrum.

http://our-angel-olivia.tumblr.com/alternatives

Stay frosty, soldier
-Tristen